Why is it when someone cuts us up when driving we are quick to paint them as being in the wrong, but when we’ve been the one to do the same we have a perfectly valid reason for doing so, or maybe it was a genuine mistake?
That’s because it’s very easy to judge the mistakes of others.
It’s not that we are unable to accept that we are wrong but it’s that we fail to accept that we are all more similar than we like. We use our judgment to separate ourselves from others and protect our egos.
We see, hear or read stories about others who act inappropriately and unsuitably and are quick to vocalise our moral high-ground.
But we forget. We so easily forget that we have often been guilty of the same thoughts and actions.
In the end we have to let go and accept. If we hold on to our egos and our sense of moral righteousness, the bitterness and resentment can set in.
Our judgements don’t help bring us closer together or feel more connected. But when we understand that we can hopefully recognise when we are doing so and in turn realise our similarities and use them as a bridge to connection.
“For example, let’s say I’ve forgiven my sister for something she said that hurt my feelings. My condition of forgiveness is only possible because at some point—either to her or to someone else—I’ve been unforgiving. And as hard as it is (to the ego) to admit, if I’m honest, every time I’ve judged someone, I’ve either demonstrated that same quality in my own life and didn’t want to admit it or I refuse to look at that part that resides within me that I accuse only other people of having.
So when I’m forgiving my sister, I’m actually forgiving myself. That’s because it’s certain the very thing I’m forgiving her for, I myself have thought, felt or done a hundred times. So demonizing someone else certainly makes it easier, doesn’t it? But when you catch your own mind games, you can dismantle them. They no longer have any place to hide. We stop projecting them onto others and spend less time talking about other people’s deficiencies, because we’ve recognized our judgments of others are really judgments against ourselves.” – At Left Brain Turn Right